People being Stupid News item of the Week

Man caught trying to steal ATM with backhoe.

COLLIER COUNTY, FL: Deputies caught a man early Friday morning trying to steal an ATM from an East Naples bank by pulling it out of the ground with a stolen backhoe. Brady Lee Wright, 22, is charged with burglary of a business, two counts of grand theft and two counts of criminal mischief. Investigators say Wright stole the backhoe from a construction site near the intersection of Rattlesnake-Hammock Road and Collier Boulevard. He then allegedly drove it to the nearby Regions Bank at 8340 Sierra Meadows Boulevard. The silent alarm at the bank went off around 6:45 a.m. when Wright knocked the ATM over. When deputies arrived minutes later they saw him pushing the machine with the backhoe. "I've picked up vans that have had ATMs in them, where they would back into a 7-11 or a convenience store, and they wouldn't make it very far. But for someone to drag this with a backhoe and attempt to get in and out, not very smart, not very smart at all," said tow-truck driver Dave Knight.Wright was immediately arrested and is being held at the Collier County Jail.The backhoe caused extensive damage to the drive-thru teller area of the bank.

:D Honestly, did this guy think he could get away pushing an ATM with a backhoe? :P

Random advice for today...

Have faith, but remember that faith makes things possible, not easy. Failure only happens when you fail to try.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. You are never as fat as you imagine.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Government that can give you everything can take it all away.

Stretch.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Floss.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

It is never about how fast you run, how high you jump, or how much you lift, what matters most is how well you bounce.

Learn how computers work and how to use them well, they will more than likely outlive you.

Never pay MSRP, unless you like being robbed.

Laugh.

You don't have to search to find the joy in life, but you might need to take your negativity glasses off.

The "intention" of doing something good is not the same as actually doing it. Good intentions not kept are just thoughts or feelings which distort reality to favor isolated perspectives we have to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.

If the going gets tough, never stop, just shift down and keep moving and remember there is always someone, somewhere, fighting a similar battle or worse.

In all things trust the Lord :)

Belts with no purpose?

Always one to speak my mind when it comes to fashions, (Because I know so much about it :p) I realized I have not tackled anything on this subject in a while, and in the absence of anything else to post on...I have decided to give my thoughts on belts. :p Not just any type of belt, rather the current women's trend you could say, of wide belts that cut their upper torso in half and have no function to speak of. Much like my post on Pointy high heel shoes this subject came into my head after I had an encounter with a lady wearing something along the lines of this:

Yeah I know that is a bad picture, I just grabbed the first one I saw online...It took me a few minutes to actually find a picture similar to what the lady was wearing. Back to the subject on hand, or on stomach...Why oh why do people where belts that high up? There is no purpose, except maybe to keep your shirt from just flying off which would probably only happen if you jumped out of an airplane! I just don't understand it! I seriously wanted to take a picture of this woman just so I could laugh at it.

Ok I don't want to rile any readers up, so as clarification, while I don't particularly like it, I know the empire waist style is slightly similar to this current trend in looks. I am not saying I think high waisted dresses or shirts are a crazy idea, rather the idea that a ridiculously wide belt, in the middle of your body, looks good. I do not know where this fashion trend came from but I think it needs to go back ASAP....

A Tale of Black Friday Madness

Most people are probably familiar with Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving that heralds in the Christmas shopping season. Ever since I have been able to drive, waiting in line with hundreds of fellow shivering shoppers in the early morning hours of Friday has been something that has brought me great pleasure. (I like chaos remember?) For those wondering why hundreds of crazy people line up outside stores hours before they open, let me explain.

On Black Friday, most stores open several hours before their regular hours and in order to entice buyers they have these "doorbuster" deals. Things like 42" LCD televisions $700 off, $800 laptops for $350, 75% off all regular priced clothes...You get the idea ;) Because these deals are so good, people start lining up to get in the stores most of the time before the employees have even arrived. Never one to pass up a deal, for several years I have braved the cold and lost sleep in my warm bed to snag great deals on electronics which I then turn around and resell. :p

Sadly in recent years Black Friday deals have not been all that great and it has gotten a bit out of control in terms of lines. Several years back Sarah and I arrived at Best Buy for laptops and lined up around 2AM. For the bigger items, rather than have an all out war in the store for said "doorbustesr" The employees will come around about an hour before the store opens and give tickets out for the "doorbusters" When Sarah and I lined up at 2AM we were #21 and 22 in line. They ran out of tickets for the laptop two people ahead of us! :( By the time store opened at 5AM there were over 500 people in line! Some poor guy showed up at 4:50 thinking he would be able to just grab a laptop! Because of this people keep lining up earlier and earlier. Not wanting to be left behind in progress, I started lining up earlier! Forget a few hours of sleep and then heading to the store in the early morning hours, it is better just to camp out outside the store Thanksgiving night! That is exactly what my friend Daniel, my brother Nick and I decided to do last year. We stocked up on Thanksgiving leftovers, put lawn chairs in the car and headed to town about 6:30 for a night of camping on the sidewalk. Or that was the plan.....

It did not quite go the way we had envisioned it :( Best Buy is at a mall and around 8 pm mall security shows up. Here we are sitting in our lawn chairs eating turkey and stuffing and some cookies Daniel had brought along with about 20 other brave souls. The security dude had no idea what was going on. Since I was pretty much at the head of the line. I explained everything to him, how people lined up in droves for the great deals and how we were just getting there early. He would have none of it. Mall rules dictated no one was allowed to line up before 12am. With his assurance that no one would be lining up until then. Daniel, Nick and I having nothing else to do for four hours headed to a nearby theater.

Several hours later about 10:50 we roll back to Best Buy. As we drove around the corner into the parking lot, I started to get rather hot under the collar. Lined up in front of the store were no less than 60 people!!!!! Let just say I was not a happy camper! Out of the corner of my eye I spot the security dude's car. As soon as we pull up to him he recognizes us and rolls down his window. Much discussion ensued! It seemed someone had called the head of security and complained and an exception to the 12am rule was made. So we had lost our spots in line and there was no way to get them back, I tried to make the security guy vouch for us and help us get back in line but alas he thought the crowd would kill him which indeed they might have, if we were allowed to put ourselves back at the head of the line. Since the items we had wanted were in limited quantities and the line was so long already. We dejectedly returned home.

This year I was prepared! I got mall security's number several weeks in advance and called them several times talking with both the security people as well as the mall manager. After repeated assurances that no one was going to be allowed to line up until 12AM and that actual police could be called upon to enforce, I made plans to start lining up at 12AM. At 11 when I was getting ready to leave I decided maybe I should call security's number and make sure they were sticking to their word....They hadn't :p around 80 people were already lined up. So for the first time in years I did not even line up at a store for Black Friday. I am not sure what I will do next year, though I so enjoyed sleeping in this year rather than sitting out in the cold for 10 hours that I just might do it again. :)

People being Stupid News item of the Week

Thieves Lose Car In Parking Lot, Ask Cops For Help

Chances are you've probably lost your car at a mall parking lot a time or too. But if you are a pack thieves stealing items from the mall and then hiding them in said car, you'd probably want to ask for help finding the car from someone other than police. Alas, that was not the case for three women and man from the Boston area over the weekend.

Police were called to the Natick Collection on Sunday after several stores reported thefts, including a $10,000 dollar purse. The "Natick Collection" is the new name for the Natick Mall, which re-opened in September after a massive expansion. It now includes dozens of high end retailers, including Bottega Veneta, where the purse was stolen from.

According to the Metro West Daily News, one of the clerks noticed the purse was gone and checked security tape which showed a man stealing it from a display. The store contacted several others, and discovered there had been other thefts. After looking at security tapes they all figured out it was the same guy.

A suspect, Parris Phillips, of Roxbury was soon arrested inside the mall, but he didn't have the purse. Officers told the paper that after looking at the tapes, they realized that Phillips appeared to be working with at least one woman. They then put out her description.

At the same time, a Newton Police officer was approached by three ladies who couldn't find their car in the mall's parking lot. The officer realized that one of the ladies matched that description and took all three into custody.

Police eventually found their car, and the missing $10,000 dollar purse sitting in the back seat in plain sight. They also found thousands of dollars worth of other items stolen from the mall. They also found wire cutters and a utility knife used to cut off security tags.

A Ham

Well another Wednesday has arrived and for a change I thought I might have something interesting to blog about! For Thanksgiving we are having my dad's family over so we will have around 30 people at our house. For the past week we have been cleaning everything in sight and my Mother and sisters have been cooking. Because my dad has been out of town, the job of picking up the ham today fell on me.

I was actually looking froward to it since I figured I would be in line for 30 minute to an hour at least and something interesting was bound to happen standing in line for an hour! Alas it was not to be. :( There were no fights in the parking lot over parking spaces, there was actually a police officer directing everyone so the task of parking was easy enough.

Then when I got in the back of the 50+ person line, the line actually moved rather fast and there were not any loud talkative ladies carrying on conversations I could listen in on! The pick up and check out process was a breeze as well and took all of 2 minutes! In about 15 minutes I was actually back in my car heading down the road. Yes this is going to sound crazy, but I left the ham place with mixed feelings, a sense of accomplishment at a task done, and a sense of disappointment that everything went so smoothly in a timely manner. I know, what is wrong with me? The answer to that question could take hours, so I will just give an answer regarding one of the complexities of, well, me: I. LIKE. CHAOS.

Don't read into that too much, :p I don't go around creating chaos and disasters wherever I go just because I like chaos. But if a chaotic situation is going to happen I want to be there. That is one reason I like thunderstorms. While I do like chaotic situations, I try not to live my life in complete disarray, I do like order and organization and herein lies the reason why I like chaos. Order and organization stem from chaos, the ability to be in a whirlwind of activity and remain calm, to create order from the chaos around you, to accomplish something in the midst of activity is for me, exhilarating.

Heh sorry this post is running down a rabbit hole, I sat down thinking this was going to be a short post on picking up a ham and I somehow got to creating order in chaos! There is much more I could go on about, but in the interest of not possibly boring readers, I am going end this post with the prayer that everyone has a great Thanksgiving with their family. :)

Amazing Grace = Amazingly Great!

Back in March, I walked into the theater to see Amazing Grace and I was not really sure what to expect, I had not even watched the trailer! All I knew was it was about William Wilberforce a guy who was instrumental in ending slavery in the British Empire, I only knew this because Sarah who was really pumped about the film told me. :p Not having any or low expectations can sometime make a movie better than it really is on a first viewing but in the case of Amazing Grace this is not the case.

The Story is based on British Member of Parliament, William Wilberforce who during the late 18th century and early 19th century, began his political career as an popular MP. Being the ambitious person he is, he takes on the issue of the slave trade which in turn leads him to become highly unpopular in the House of Lords. :p In time, after much work, he is eventually responsible for a bill being passed through Parliament, which abolishes the slave trade in the British Empire.


Ioan Gruffudd is totally believable in portraying the complexity and heroism of Wilberforce. His fervent body language, as he makes point after impassioned point, makes feel you are right there, living Wilberforce's life.


When his bill is finally passed, and his years of struggle and sacrifice are met with victory I wanted to clap right along with the people applauding him on screen! Just the shear magnitude of emotion that is seen on the screen by not only Ioan Gruffard, but also the entire cast was tremendous. He really did an extraordinary job, which should be in consideration for a Leading Actor Oscar though I doubt it will even get a thought. The reason I think that and I reason I think Amazing Grace was not as publicly praised is, William Wilberforce was a Christian.....

While it does not dwell on Wilberforce's Christianity for extended periods of time it is there and the film fortunately does not try to skirt around it. If not for the fact that Wilberforce was a Christian, I believe the secular media really would have pushed the film, I mean Wilberforce was a radical in his day, he was for human rights, against slavery, against cruelty towards animals and this is all in the early 1800 late 1700! Two of these things are still subjects people are fighting about today and Wilberforce was one of the people who got the ball moving on them to some extent in England. I know we live in a fallen world, but sometimes it just really gets me when excellent material, be it books, music, or film gets the cold shoulder because it is "Christian" or has Christian themes or characters!

Sorry, I actually just edited out about a paragraph because I was ranting on Christian media in our society. :p That was not the purpose of this post, the purpose is to say if you have not heard about or seen Amazing Grace, go check it out because it was FINALLY released on dvd last Tuesday. (Yes, I know this post is a week late):)

The Remedy

Last week I was walking up and down my driveway listening to the new David Crowder Band cd - The Remedy. The Lord has been showing me some areas in my life that I need to give to Him and really opened my eyes to how fallen I am. How I can't do it myself, I can't change the way I respond to people or the way I view people ect... without God changing my heart. I was walking and thinking about this when these lyrics came on.....

He is the one
Who has saved us
He is the one
Who embraced us
He is the one who has come
And is coming again
He’s the remedy

It made is so clear that I have to rely on Him, there is nothing I can do to save myself. It just reiterated what I knew and that He wants to be the Remedy. He doesn't just offer Salvation and then sits back and says “Whatever... you have free will... you can do what you want.” He doesn't leave us to blindly find Him. God sends his Holy Spirit to draw us to Him. He desires to make us whole. And with all the issues that are surrounding us today we Have a remedy – that remedy is Jesus Christ.

Oh, I can’t comprehend
I can’t take it all in
Never understand
Such perfect love come
For the broken and beat
For the wounded and weak
Oh, come fall at His feet


He’s the remedy
He’s the remedy
You are the one
Who has saved us
You are the one
Who forgave us
You are the one who has come
And is coming again
To make it alright
Oh, to make it alright
You’re the remedy
Oh, in us
You’re the remedy

Let us be the remedy
Let us bring the remedy

Life from the Toaster

Many people have asked us why on earth the blog is called "Life from the Toaster" They want to know if there is some special or hidden meaning that is derived from the title. So in answer to anyone who has asked or wondered about the title, here is the honest reason. Sarah could not think of a name and I wanted something that involved life and also sounded rather cool. Thinking along those lines the first thought in my head was life from the toaster. In Isaiah it says we are the clay and God is the potter. Our title is a bit of a humorous parody of that, we are the bread and God is the toaster. He is going to "toast" us much like a potter would put his pottery in a kiln. It may get hot sometimes but if we trust him we are going to end up as wonderful pieces of toast. :) Yes I know that sounds a tad weird, but next time you are going through a hard time just think of it as another experience in the "toaster of life"

People being Stupid News item of the Week

Two stories today, both involving animals!

Man Charged With Toad-Licking

David Theiss, 21, was arrested after police said he was trying to get high with the Colorado River toad. Officers in Clay County said it is the first time they've ever charged someone with toad-licking. Residents in Kansas City said toad-licking is becoming more common."People used to do it all the time, a long time ago, but it kind of faded out for a while. but now I think it is coming back as a fad," animal expert Danny Snyder said. "It is not a real smart fad, but it is coming back as one."The Colorado toad has glands that release venom strong enough to kill small animals. The venom also contains hallucinogenic chemicals, according to a UPI report."The toxins in it can kill a lot of things," Synder said.

Runaway Pigs Lead Chase on Iowa Streets

DAVENPORT, Iowa (AP) — Pigs running loose on the streets? That's not the kind of call an animal control officer relishes. Take it from Leah Messmer, who spent about 35 minutes chasing down two pot-bellied pigs Wednesday morning across several Davenport streets.

"You really have to go after them," said Messmer, noting that this was not the first time she had to chase down a runaway pig. "They dart in and out of cars and somebody could get hit. That's why you have to catch 'em. Poor little buggers."

The pigs darted between passing cars and explored various streets on the city's west side — all while their pursuers tried in vain to corner them, even attempting a few unsuccessful dives.
The chase included two officers from animal control, two police officers and a couple MidAmerican Energy employees.

The pigs were first spotted about 7:30 a.m. by a caller who alerted authorities. Right away, Messmer knew she was in for a long morning. Luckily, experience was on her side. Learning from her first pig chase, Messmer knew to grab a blanket.

"They're tough," she said. "They have no necks so you really can't get a collar on them."

The first pig was captured behind a hotel. The second wandered behind the hotel, then doubled back. Along the way, workers at various businesses stuck their heads out in disbelief. Some went back in to retrieve cameras.

Patrol officer R.F. Grover didn't quite believe the call. He texted some friends and called his wife while he tried to head off the pig in his squad car. The last one finally was captured in a car lot, cornered between two vehicles awaiting repair.

The pigs will be sent to an animal shelter, Messmer said. She presumed they were pets from someone living in the area. "They're like dogs," she said. "They tend to go back to familiar places."

This quote from the animal control officer: "They have no necks so you really can't get a collar on them." :p ROFL that has got to be the funnest thing I have read in the news in a long time!

Well... This is ironic

Just a few minutes ago I was talking to william...waiting for him to play (and sing) a song that he wrote. The topic of blogging came up....I'm not sure if anyone noticed... but for that past week I was on a computer fast. I decided to see if I could go one week without going on the computer.. no reading blogs....no checking email....no computer access.

My week ended today and William asked me if I had posted anything. My response was this: I think of really neat things to post all day long especially when I am driving, I'll kinda talk out my ideas. Then I will sit in front of the computer and click new post aaannnddd nothing comes out. Its like I have a great white fuzzy thing blocking me from producing coherant thoughts. But while I was waiting and waiting and waiting for William to show off his song a great Sarah moment happened, and I had to blog about it. This stuff seems to happen to me often..

This pretty much sums it up....

Don't pretend to play your brother's eletric guitar.

If you must pretend to play your brother's eletric guitar make sure the guitar is unplugged.

Even if the guitar is unplugged do not dance around like a Rock star.

If you must dance around like a Rock star while pretending to play your brother's eletric guitar do not raise the guitar over your head and into the ceiling fan.
(This may be funny in tv or at a rock concert....not at home.)

And.... finally if you must dance around pretending to play the guitar (that belongs to your brother!!!) like a Rock star and you hit it into the fan, try to make sure that you brother is not watching you.
It did make a really funny sound though...by the way.. the guitar is fine.... its just a little dent.

A thought on food and the movies

You are sitting watching a movie and the actors on screen are cooking a meal or eating, or for that matter, just ordering food at a restaurant. Then, for reasons unknown, even though you are not hungry, hearing about or seeing the food makes your stomach growl and from some hidden part of your body you instantly start craving whatever it is that is on the screen or being talked about. "YES", you may say to yourself, "This has happened to me!" You may wonder why the film studios torture their poor film viewers in such a manner. I too, used to wonder why they put mouth watering food on screen but today as I ate my lunch I came to the realization that is is all PETA's fault. PETA you may ask, yes, PETA! The People Eating Tasty Animals organization. I am not sure what their agreement is, but it seems to me that PETA must have some type of deal with Hollywood by which the studios show the actors eating and enjoying great tasting animals! I urge you to write PETA and tell them to remember the viewers of films, we should not have to suffer through watching Brad Pit eat wonderful food throughout a film, while we are stuck with over-salted popcorn and stale nachos! The time has come for a change, who is with me?

Today is Wednesday, as usual on Wednesdays I can't seem to think of anything to post about, but I do have another cell phone tip to share:

Cell Phone Tip #53

Texting someone "call me" is NOT a good use of a text message! If you have the time to text "call me" then you most obviously have the time to just call the person you are texting rather than texting them to call you......One more texting tip, don't text while in any type of music lesson! Oh and don't text while driving!

Occupational Hymns

Continuing with yesterday's post on Church bulletins, I decided I should share some "Occupational Hymns" :D

• The Dentist's Hymn.............Crown Him With Many Crowns
• The Weatherman's Hymn..........There Shall Be Showers of Blessing
• The Contractor's Hymn..........The Church's One Foundation
• The Tailor's Hymn..............Holy, Holy, Holy
• The Golfer's Hymn..............There is A Green Hill Far Away

• The Politician's Hymn..........Standing on the Promises
• The Optometrist's Hymn.........Open My Eyes That I Might See
• The IRS Agent's Hymn...........I Surrender All
• The Gossip's Hymn..............Pass It On
• The Electrician's Hymn.........Send the Light

• The Shopper's Hymn.............Sweet By and By
• The Realtor's Hymn.........I've Got A Mansion Just Over the Hilltop
• The Pilot's Hymn...............I'll Fly Away
• The Paramedic's Hymn...........Revive Us Again
• The Judge's Hymn...............Almost Persuaded

• The Psychiatrist's Hymn........Just a Little Talk With Jesus
• The Architect's Hymn...........How Firm A Foundation
• The Credit Card Telemarketer's Hymn.....A Charge To Keep I Have
• The Zookeeper's Hymn...........All Creatures of Our God & King
• The Postal Worker's Hymn.......So Send I You

• The Waiter's Hymn..............Fill My Cup, Lord
• The Gardener's Hymn............Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming
• The Lifeguard's Hymn...........Rescue the Perishing
• The Criminal's Hymn............Search Me, O God
• The Baker's Hymn...............I Need Thee Every Hour
  

• The Shoe Repairer's Hymn.......It Is Well With My Soul
• The Travel Agent's Hymn........Anywhere With Jesus
• The Geologist's Hymn...........Rock of Ages
• The Mens' Wear Clerk's Hymn....Blest Be the Tie

• The Umpire's Hymn..............I Need No Other Argument
• The Librarian's Hymn...........Whispering Hope

And of course, for those of you who speed on the highway (myself included) a few hymns we should remember:

45 mph......................God Will Take Care of You
55 mph......................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65 mph......................Nearer My God to Thee
75 mph......................Nearer Still Nearer
85 mph......................This World Is Not My Home
95 mph......................Lord, I'm Coming Home
Over 100 mph................Precious Memories

Ushers will eat latecomers.

I am sure everyone has seen this set of humorous church bulletins, either through an email or posted somewhere. I was reminded of them several nights back when Sarah was talking about how she had seen them posted in a local college. I just thought I would share. ( Sarah wanted to post them, but she is currently on a computer "fast" for some strange reason.)

Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.

The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.

The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Evening massage - 6 p.m.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"
Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

(During the minister's illness) GOD IS GOOD.
Dr. Hargreaves is better.

The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Of alternators and dead batteries

Thursday evening I got a call from my dad asking if I could pick Sarah up. It seemed the truck she was driving was giving her issues and rather than continue driving it, she parked it and called my dad. Friday morning the truck was towed to a nearby shop and looked over. It seemed the alternator had decided to die. That afternoon they replaced the alternator and the truck was good to go, since I had been planning to use the truck on Saturday we just left it at the shop overnight.

Saturday morning arrived, I dropped my car off at my grandparents and hitched a ride up to the shop where the truck was. The plan being to use the truck to haul appliances to the dump from the "Dumpster house" I arrive at the house and start to clearing out more junk. Around 12, we load up the appliances, and head to the dump. Since it is lunch time, on the return from the dump we decide to stop at a McDonalds for lunch. I get out of the truck and immediately realize that my front driverside tire is leaking air in a big way! I jump back in the truck with the intention to get to a gas station pronto so I don't have to change the tire. Unfortunately the truck will not start, in fact the truck will not even turn over, it is as dead as the 8-point buck a guy from church got the other week.

I sit in the truck for a minute thinking to myself how silly this is, parked in a McDonalds with a rapidly deflating tire and a battery throughly dead, probably because the "new" alternator is installed wrong or something! Having nothing else to do, I did what anyone would do in that situation, I went in McDonalds, washed my hands and ate two double cheeseburgers and a medium fry. We were only about 20 minutes walk from the dumpster house, so after the refreshment, Garon, the guy from work who was working with me headed to the house to get his car which had jumper cables and I went back out to the truck to replace the tire.

In this task I was yet again foiled as there was NO JACK IN THE CAR! This was no big issue, you can always borrow someone's jack but to top it off the tool used to lower the tire from under the bed was also missing! So even if I had a jack there was no way I could lower the spare from the truck bed. But I was still positive, while searching for the jack I had found a brand new container of fix-a-flat. Determining to use this on the now completely deflated tire I waited for Garon to return with his car and his jumper cables.

When Garon arrived back I told him the plan for the fix-a-flat unfortunately since the tire was now resting with it's rim on the ground it was decided it would be useless since fix-a-flat fixes the flat, it does not fill your tire with air. We actually used to have a little air compressor that was in the truck but my aunt ran over it (That story is for another time) Having exhausted all our options, I called up AAA. After going through several minutes of conversation with the dispatch lady, ( I did not have my AAA card) She got me scheduled to have a rescue truck come out and help but it would be an hour and 45 minute wait. That was fine, we could work clearing more of the house.

A little less than 1:45 later, I got a call from the rescue guy and we drove back up to McDonalds. Garon dropped me off and headed back to the house and I dealt with the AAA dude, who of course wanted my AAA card which I did not have. :p Finally, we got to fixing the truck, he patched the tire and filled it back up, then went to jump the battery. Success! The truck came to life as only a F-150 with 292,453 miles can. I got ready to leave intent on heading directly to the shop where the alternator was put in, but before the hood was even closed the truck died again. :( The AAA guy who had a voltage thing said we were only getting 7volts when we should be getting 14 and so it seemed I was correct. The alternator was indeed not installed property. Our only recourse was to have it towed back to the shop.

Continuing with theme of the day there was nobody left at the shop and the tow truck could not get to it for the rest of the day so I walked 20 minutes back to the house. After several more hours of cleaning, in which we filled our second 30-ton dumpster in a week, we called it a day and headed to my grandparents house for my car. Glad to finally be done with car and battery issues I sat in my nice form fitting seat and turn my key......NOTHING HAPPENS! It seems by some weird turn of events my Altima's battery was dead as well!!

Not able to stop laughing I call up Garon and ask him to turn around and come give me a jump but, it seemed we had left the jumper cables in the truck at McDonalds. Since I was at my grandparent's I decided to just borrow their car and head to the truck and retrieve the cables myself. Returning 30 minutes later to my car, I hooked everything up and turned my key.....yet again nothing happened. Thinking maybe Garon's jumper cables were old and no good, I drove to a nearby K-mart and picked up another set. I hooked everything up again and...nothing still. At this moment I was racking my brain in search of some meaning or knowledge I needed to be learning from this experiance, I have yet to think of something.

Anyway I called up my dad and asked him to come pick me up. An hour later he shows up and I once again hook the jumper cables up, this time to his car, (I am nothing if I am not stubborn) with the thought that maybe my grandparent's car could not give mine enough juice to be brought to life. A turn of the key and VROOM! I was in business. :D This concludes my very long winded post on my Saturday, if you read the whole thing I commend you.

People being Stupid News item of the Week

Man Arrested After Reporting Pot Theft

McALLEN, Texas (AP) — A man was arrested for drug possession after telling authorities that two masked gunmen had stolen 150 pounds of marijuana from his home.

Hidalgo County sheriff's deputies arrived at the home near Penitas in South Texas to find the door kicked in and nearly 15 pounds of pot lying on the floor, Sheriff Lupe Trevino said.

Jose Guadalupe Flores, 35, escaped while the men ransacked the house but returned later and told the deputies he had been wrapping the drugs for shipment when the intruders arrived.

"The guy walked right up and said the drugs were his," Trevino said. "That's not the smartest move."

Flores, an illegal immigrant from Mexico, was charged with felony possession of marijuana at an arraignment hearing Monday. Because of his immigration status, Flores will be jailed until his case is heard.

Authorities were still searching for the gunmen.

World Pie Championship!

This mouth watering news out of Scotland, the World Pie Championship has started!! This competition with over 70 bakers and butchers taking part is something that sounds like it would be an awesome event to judge. To walk among rows of beautiful pies, to smell their wonderful aroma waifing through the room must be a glorious experience for the judges! Just so you know these are not plate sized, fruit pies that are sweet as one might think. They are small enough to fit in your hand and are filled with meat and a carefully blended mix of spices and herbs as well as other ingredients. Mmm, just thinking about this is making my stomach growl. Some pictures:

Bananas

I rather like bananas, besides tasting good in things like smoothies they also are a good source of potassium. It has come to my attention however that since 1999 banana purchasers in over 30 states have been unfairly treated and have been the victims of a conspiracy to raise, and maintain banana prices at artificially high levels!!!!! This is a serious crime! Chiquita. Del Monte, and Dole, the banana importers for the United States have betrayed the trust of their banana customers by violating anti-trust and consumer-protection laws in their evil scheme to fix our banana prices!

Since our family has probably purchased hundreds of dollars worth of banana since 1999, when I first heard about this class action I was pretty happy since I figured we would get something, maybe free bananas for a year! :D But no, that is not what the courts ruled. Rather Chiquita. Del Monte, and Dole, have to provide America's Second Harvest (A national foodbank) vegetables and packaged foods with a retail value of $2,500,000.... I personally feel they are getting off a bit easy, but that is because I would have loved free bananas for a year. :p

Huckabee for President

Yup that is right, I am making a post about the upcoming election. In just under a year, we in the United States will have our 55th presidential election. You might be thinking to yourself, "uh yeah, it is one year away, why are you posting about this William?" That is actually why I have not posted this earlier, I figured I would wait until we had a year to go before the election. :D

I guess a lot of people don't really start following the election and campaigning until after the respective primaries for each party. That is fine, but if you don't pay attention now, then you really will not have an idea of who to vote for in the primary! I am not going to try to convince anyone who they should vote for, but I am going to say who I think would be the best President out of everyone running. That is Mike Huckabee.

You might have noticed the Huckabee for President image on the sidebar to the right, it has been there several weeks. You may not have heard of Mike Huckabee, most people have not. You may only know about Giuliani, or McCain or Clinton or Obama...that might have to do with them being the "front runners" But just because someone is a "front runner" does not mean they are the best guy for the job. Unfortunately we currently seem to have this "follow the leader" or "do what is popular" mentality in America.

Because of this, unless the word gets out about better candidates like Mike Huckabee and for a lesser extent Ron Paul no one is going to know who they are come primary time. There is a bit of catch 22 there because if they had the funding they could help get their name out, but to get the donations they have to have their name out there for people to actually know to donate to.....

So I just want to encourage you to track the candidates in our upcoming presidential election, research their views and make an educated decision not one that is just following along with the crowd. After doing that I was more than convinced that out of all the candidates running Mike Huckabee is the right man for the job, but his name is only going to get out there if more people speak up. :) There is a good video interview of Mike Huckabee on his website HERE it is a bit long and if you are on dial up then I apologize it really is worth it though. :)

The Treasures of Work

Here is the dumpster early yesterday morning before we started emptying out the house:

...and here it is 8 hours later. The good news is we cleared that whole dumpster out of the house! The bad news is we still have at least another half a dumpster to go before it is fully cleaned up!

Some "after" pictures:

While a hundred times better, there is still some work to be done....

In answer to the question put forth from several sources, here is some stuff I found while digging through the mess:

Not that exciting eh? There was actually so much stuff we were clearing out, it just was hard to sift through it in search of things....We had wheelbarrows and a shovel and were literally shoveling the stuff from the floor to the wheelbarrow and then dumping it in the dumpster. Somethings of interest found, Maglite 3-D-Cell Flashlight, boy scout badges from the 1960-70s, some political pins, a silver tray, two Daniel Boone style jacket/shirts:

Those are actually pretty cool, except they are both way too small in the sleeves. There was also a collection of road signs which to the horror of my mother I plan to decorate my walls with. :p

Probably the best find was an 8-setting china set, minus salad plates and bowls:

My mother who knows about such things as china, informed me that it is actually very good china and is made by the same company that made hers...I personally think the pattern is a little too colorful and flowery, but my mother really likes it and said I should keep it because my future wife probably will too. So that is a roundup of house cleaning...There is still much to be done in way of clearing out, we just ran out of room in the dumpster!

Dumpster diving, house style!!!

Today, I will be cleaning out a house that is in a word, chaos. Complete and utter chaos! Recently at work we have started buying foreclosed homes, fixing them up and then reselling them. That is actually how I got involved with my apartment I have posted about. Anyway we recently got a house that is a disaster inside, there is literally stuff everywhere! I am serious when I say you can hardly walk around without stepping on piles of junk. These are some some "before" pictures I took a while back:

Oh yeah! :D Going have some fun clearing this stuff out! :p While I do like clearing out houses like this, it would just be another day of work and probably not half as fun if not for the fact that anything I find I get to keep!!! Anyone want a boat that is missing the motor? Trailer included! :D

Here are some pictures from when our dear friends Anja and Olivia decided to pay us a long 0verdue visit.

One day Anja and Sarah decided to jump out of a car (never fear Mother.... the car was not moving!!!) William decided to rev his engine to make them look back....it did not work....the revving engine did, however, make Sarah jump about three feet!! But she didn't look back....that is all that matters. :)

Its Out!!! I know...Its Out!! umm...wait we are both saying that the ball went out. oops!

Olivia pretending to be Nicholas mediating in the cubby-hole.

Matthew, give me (Anja) the ball....come on.... Matthew, Look, that is Anja...see she needs the ball......

People being Stupid News item of the Week

Councilman Wants Pigeons on Birth Control

NEW YORK (AP) — A councilman has a unique solution to reducing the pigeon population at the Staten Island ferry terminals: Put them on birth control.

Councilman James Odd says OvoControl-P, a drug that renders pigeon eggs unhatchable, could help to thin out the pesky birds and thus the droppings they leave behind inside the terminals where they like to nest.

Oddo says the drug — which would be mixed into standard seed — has not yet been approved for pigeons by the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation. A similar product meant for geese was given the OK last month.

I just have one thing to say, did it ever occur to the Councilman to maybe teach the birds abstinence?

Back in the blogging saddle....

I have not posted in a week! Yesterday, I thought about blogging about the visit we had with our friends, Anja and Olivia, but it would be hard to describe their visit in one post. I decided I would just post some pictures, but Olivia beat me to it on their blog so if you want to see some pictures right now go there. ;) Sarah has told me she is going to upload some pictures onto our blog tonight so keep an eye out.. Actually there is one story I want to share about an adventure we had on the interstate....

We are on I-85 cruising up to DC, 80mph, suddenly a car switches lanes in front of me. I gently tap my brakes and we slow down to about 76mph, the car in front of us speeds up and I push down on the gas to speed up as well. Except the car does not speed up, if anything the car seems to slow down more! 73mph. Since I am driving their car, not mine, I figure my foot is still on the brake. 68mpg. I glanced to the floor and realize that I actually do have my foot on the gas! 64mph. Having nothing else to do I start pumping the gas pedal trying to rev the car back to life. 60mph. No dice, there is something seriously wrong here. 55mph. I ask Anja who is next to me if there is something about their car I should know. 52mph I realize Anja has headphones on and can't hear me! 50mph. I start tapping her on the arm. 45mph Olivia looks at the dash and gives news you really don't want to hear on the interstate: "Oh we are out of gas!" It seems their car is empty at a quarter of a tank, not the "E" 40mph. I get over in the right lane and as we come around a bend in the road I see an exit. 35mph. I am not sure if we are going to make the exit. Olivia and I start rocking back and forth trying to make the car go faster. 30mph. I pull off to the side of the road. 25mph we are slowly crawling toward the exit. 20mph. The exit ramp is up hill no way are we getting up it. We come to a stop on the side of the interstate about 65 feet from the beginning of the exit.

I tell the girls not to worry, there is probably a gas station at the top of the exit, I will just run and get some gas and be right back....When I reach the top of the exit I realize we are in the middle of nowhere and there are no buildings in sight! I see a stop light about a mile down the road so I take off running. Five minutes into running I realize I am extremely thirsty! I had run off without water! Before I get to the light, I come to a school building of some sort, guessing the people inside would know where a gas station is, I head inside. The lady behind the desk tells me there is a gas station less than a mile down the road. I breathe a sigh of relief, thank her and set off.....

After another 10 minutes of running, I realize the lady while kind had no concept of distance. I have now gone over two miles from the car and no gas station is in sight. Nevertheless I continue running in the direction the lady pointed me in. I run for about another five minutes and I have to admit here, I was getting a tad tired, I was wearing long pants, long sleeves and I had no water! Finally after another five minutes I see the top of an overpass for I-85 in the distance. Another 6-7 minutes and I have arrived at a gas station! I buy a little gallon tank, fill it up and ask one of the two attendants if they could give me a ride back, low and behold neither one has a vehicle!!!! So I set off on my return journey. Fortunately I cut probably a mile off by heading back along the interstate rather than back tracking the way I had come. Close to an hour after I had first left I arrive back the the car, put the gas in and we continue along our way no worse for wear. Some life lessons to remember are 1) Never run out of gas! 2) If you do run out of gas don't leave the car without water!